She Bang

The time has come to turn on the heat. The furnace is firing up, boiling happy and steaming mad. The radiators go bump in the night.

My husband and I bought our house just over three years ago. Prior to that, we had both been apartment dwellers and didn’t have to deal with furnaces, boilers, steam heat, and big heavy old-fashioned radiators. Of course, I had assumed my husband would know what to do with the big angry steel creature in our basement just because he is, well, a man. But I was never so wrong in my life. Once that first winter rolled round, he was turning dials and knobs, pushing buttons and levers. I asked what he was doing, and he said he didn’t know. He hadn’t a clue. So, wait…stop! There are flames and gas and gurgling boiling water! There are pressure gauges and hot steam! There are rusted and crusted pipes! There are asbestos-wrapped appendages strategically placed throughout our basement!

This was dangerous stuff.

So if our house were ever to be toasty and warm, I knew I would have to take it upon myself to learn about the boiling beast. I researched online. I bought a book. I found out our ancient heating system was one of the best there are, if it is functioning properly. I called the heating company for a serviceman to come out. I watched him as he poked and prodded and drained and refilled. I asked him question after question about our lean mean heating machine.

And now I know its secrets. I know how its steam is forced up through the pipes to heat the radiators, only to return again in its condensed form. I know the angle of its pipes have to be just so for this to happen. I know its pressure gauge should always remain on a very low setting. I know I have to purge it of its murky inky water every so often. I know that if the water in the indicator is rising and falling as if it were hurricane season, it is just not happy about one thing or another.

The radiators do still clang and bang, but I am no longer afraid.

“May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart” ~Eskimo Proverb