Doctor! Doctor!

I haven’t been to the doctor in a while, a few years at least. My husband has been bugging me to make an appointment. I have had the office number sitting on my desk for the past three to four weeks and still I have not called for an appointment. I should have my blood work done. I should have my heartbeat checked. I should have my body poked and prodded for irregular lumps and bumps.

But I don’t wanna go to the doctor!

I cannot even remember the last time I had a cold. My cholesterol levels have always been perfect. I don’t have any illnesses or diseases to speak of. I am not on any medications. I don’t get infections. I exercise. I eat right. I do not smoke.

I do get headaches. I have tightness in my shoulders. I have an aching in my left hip that occasionally flares up. But to me, these are just the normal everyday aches and pains of life that do not require a doctor’s visit. And I get PMS just like every other woman. Well, maybe I have PMS a little worse than other women. If I were on a trial jury where the accused was a woman who killed her husband, no matter what her defense was I would vote “not guilty by reason of PMS”. So, okay, maybe I have very bad PMS. Maybe I have PMDD – premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which is what I self-diagnosed two or three years ago. I have tried every natural remedy from St. John’s Wort to mega doses of calcium and organic mangosteen juice, all to no avail. It is probably time to go see a professional.

But I don’t wanna go to the doctor!


"The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease." ~Voltaire

I have PMS and a handgun, any questions?