Cat Lady

Last night I was watching our cat GiGi trying to catch a bug that was flying around the bedroom. At one point, she stood completely upright on her hind legs and kept clasping her front paws together. She looked like she was clapping but in actuality she was trying to snatch up the bug between her paws. It was the damndest cutest thing ever.

It made me remember how back in my single days I was so afraid I would become the wretched neighborhood cat lady, hiding behind dark curtains, hoarding 78 cats, leaving the house only to buy Fancy Feast, school kids throwing eggs at my house on Halloween.

But what’s funny is when I was single I had no cats. Now that I am married I have two. And I hide behind dark curtains and school kids throw eggs at my house on Halloween.

Just kidding.

But have you seen that woman Jocelyn who has had so much plastic surgery her face actually looks like a wild cat? Seriously! I believe that was her intent, though I can’t say for sure.

Sometimes I wish I were a cat, so on bad days I could just hide in the dark under the bed. I could be snobby and prissy and nobody would think twice about it. I could sit on a warm breezy windowsill and observe the humans as if they were put on this earth just for my entertainment. I could literally walk all over my owners, waking them from their deep slumber, and get away with it unscathed, because I am just the damndest cutest thing ever.


Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man. ~ Paul Gray